We Ride at Dawn
by Kristi Hoss Schiller
Relentless Philanthropist. Professional Cage Rattler. Seasoned Cliff Jumper. Blessings Brokers. Big Idea Brainchild. Social Entrepreneur. Curator of Misfit Toys. Unicorn Evangelist. Virtual Crime-Fighter. Storyteller in Red Bottoms.
Queen of the Internet. Still proving the original never needed updates.
💥 The Manifesto : 💄 Because a glow-up has no expiration date.
I’ve been underestimated, written off, and edited out.
And I still only have one fear: Mediocrity.
But spoiler alert? I kept the pen.
And this chapter? It’s my favorite one yet.
They told me to stay in my lane—
so I built a runway… and went Wheels Up. ✈️
I’ve lived 99 lives and turned every detour into a damn good storyline—
because reinvention isn’t luck.
It’s earned in grit, not glitter.
I don’t start fires to watch them burn.
I start them to light the way—for the ones still finding their spark.
We ride at dawn. Bring kerosene.
🗂 My Backstory
(a.k.a. How I Became Internet Royalty)
I’ve always had a thing for stories—breaking news, breaking hearts, breaking rules. The messier, the better.
While other kids were glued to cartoons, I was dissecting red carpet scandals and political fallout like a pint-sized press secretary.
My daddy called me Lucy Lipps: The Skirt with the Dirt.
And bless him—he wasn’t wrong.
At 18, I talked my way into a local radio station. I didn’t care if I had to clean the studio with a toothbrush—I just needed to be near the mic. So I made a deal: I’d sell the ads if they gave me airtime.
Five years later, I was co-hosting the #1 morning show in a top-ten market—serving gossip, news, and love advice with a wink… and absolutely no warning label.
Then came 1994—and with it, the Internet.
While most people were still wondering what a modem did, I launched one of the first 600 websites on Earth.
By 1996, Forbes crowned me the Queen of the Internet.
And I wrung every drop from that title like it came with a stock portfolio and a backstage pass to the future.
The headlines followed at warp speed—Wired, People, Playboy, The New York Times, Fortune, USA Today, The Daily Mail.
There wasn’t ink wasted on me on either side of the pond.
I wasn’t a feature. I was a fixture.
Red carpets, radio airwaves, gossip columns—if it had a spotlight, I was already in it.
I didn’t ride the wave of fame. I built the undertow—and dared the world to keep up.
Andy Warhol once said everyone gets 15 minutes of fame.
Mine came with a global press tour, an internet crown, and a rerun that still hasn’t ended.
Because I didn’t just tell stories—
I became the headline, the legacy, and the warning label.
⸻
💪 The Comebacks (Yes, Plural)
I’ve been the rumor. The plot twist. The comeback no one saw coming.
I’ve survived:
• Being kidnapped by a fan
• A cartel bounty on my head
• An oil crash that leveled empires
• And a headline-worthy divorce that tried to do the same
I didn’t just return—I reinvented.
Louder than Los Angeles after an earthquake. And twice as unshakable.
Nine rounds of IVF. Six strokes. One perfect miracle daughter.
I started a nonprofit from my kitchen table—K9s4COPs—which helped seize over $8 billion in contraband and remove more than 500,000 illegal firearms from U.S. streets.
The FBI gave me their highest civilian honor.
France knighted me with a public safety award for donating K9 Liberté to the RAID team after the Paris attacks.
And one year? NBC’s Person of the Week.
The next? A Rose Bowl float with a retired police dog at my feet.
⸻
🤠 The Real Me
(In Case You’re Still Guessing)
People love to call me smart.
Truth is? I barely graduated.
But I’m damn well-read—and even better rehearsed in the school of hard landings.
I’m just not afraid to jump—feet first, eyes open, no parachute.
Because a fool with a plan will outrun a genius without one.
And I’ve built empires on instinct… and signatures that weren’t even dry yet.
When doors didn’t open, friends and good manners did.
And the ones that didn’t?
I built my own—then added a velvet rope and a guest list.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped standing up just for myself—
and started standing up for others.
That’s when everything shifted.
Because a strong woman stands for herself.
But a fierce one?
She stands for everyone in the room—
even when she’s the last one left standing.
⸻
🎤 What You’ll Find Here
Welcome to We Ride at Dawn—
Tales of a Blessings Broker, Philanthropy Warrior, and Storyteller-in-Stilettos.
I’m Kristi—your guide through stories of reinvention, resilience, and relentless purpose. From fearless philanthropy to unforgettable plot twists, I’m here to unpack the highs, the lows, and the hard-won wisdom that comes from living out loud and loving without apology.
This isn’t a highlight reel.
It’s a fire trail.
Whether I’m placing K9s in schools, flipping the script on broken systems, or fighting for the overlooked and underestimated—one thing’s for sure:
I don’t just share stories.
I ignite them.
The mic’s hot. The boots are on. Let’s ride. I saved you a seat up front!
